Self-Efficacy And Thinking Errors

By Dan LeMaire, Assistant Field Director

“…Men of the modern world exist in continual and flagrant antagonism between their consciences and their way of life”. I have recently been swept into a great internal adventure as I study the lives of non-violent social reformers. It came as a surprise to me that reformers of the 20th century such as Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr., as well as many others, have a common history in their studies of Leo Tolstoy. Tolstoy is a novelist, philosopher and educational reformer who lived and worked in the late 1800s and it was he who penned the quote above. It was Tolstoy’s postulation that we live in a constant tension between what we know we should be, what we think we can be, and what we think we are.

Many of the friends I meet at Aspiro, in the form of peer guides and in the form of students arrive in this state.

In so many ways, I feel closer to them for it… because it is a way of being that I share. I do not think that living in this state indicates any sort of moral failure, at least not more than anyone else. The only way to truly be exactly what we think we should be at all times is if we are perfect. However, I have seen unhealthy and healthy ways of resolving this tension. It would stand to reason that if we feel a sense that we ought to be something better than what we are, that we ought to be more fit, more kind, more generous, more hard-working, etc., that this tension would make us uncomfortable. This discomfort can motivate us to excel and to become better, but it does not always. There are easier ways to resolve this tension. If we seek to close the gap between ‘how good’ we think we are, and ‘how good’ we think we ought to be, it is very difficult to simply be better. It is much easier to convince ourselves that the concept of ‘how good’ we ought to be is simply an illusion. If our moral sense is an illusion, then it absolves us of our responsibility to work toward it.

If we cannot bring our behavior up to the standard of our morals, then we will bring our morals down to the standard of our behavior. It can sometimes take years of dialogue with ourselves and crafty manipulation to convince ourselves that we need not be as great as we think we ought to be. This is where our third category comes from. It is the category of self-efficacy, or 'what we think we can be'. Before attempting any task of any kind, our minds will always go through a process of deciding if the task is worth the effort. If there is a high likelihood of success, and relatively small cost, we are likely to attempt the task. If there is either too high of a cost, or simply no belief that we can accomplish the task, we are unlikely to attempt the task.

Being an accomplished skier, I enjoy skiing very difficult and steep backcountry slopes. I must minimize the risks of avalanche, tumbles, and equipment failure in order to do this successfully. I will carefully measure snow stability across the span of months, carefully tune and prepare my equipment, choose my team or partner carefully, and spend hours picking my specific path down the mountain and committing it to memory.

Because I have done all these things so many times, and have been successful each time, I have little hesitation when I am standing on top of the slope, looking down, preparing to drop in. My wife, on the other hand, has skied only a few hours in her life. Simply standing on her skis on the gentlest of slopes without me nearby to help can immobilize her in terror. If she were to stand at the top of the same mountain that I was standing on, she would simply be unable to progress any further. She would be unwilling to accept the risk of failure. My self-efficacy is much stronger than her self-efficacy as it regards backcountry skiing.

Whether the task is skiing, homework, business, making friends, quitting smoking, or interacting positively with parents, we will only choose to accept the challenge and engage in the task if we believe we can be successful. If the cost is too high for us, we will simply choose to believe that we cannot possibly accomplish the task. There is a constant tension between what we think we ought to be, what we think we can be, and what we think we are. An unhealthy way of resolving this tension is to simply lower the standards or 'what we think we ought to be', or to lower the standards of 'what we think we can be', to match 'what we think we are'.

I have heard students at Aspiro tell me that they simply cannot get along with their parents, that they would rather live on the streets. Because they do not believe in the possibility of success, they choose to believe that the only option they have left is to live on the streets, to give up.

There are more academic ways of describing these conditions. 'What we think we ought to be' is called morality, spirituality, or ambition. 'What we think we can be' is called our self-efficacy. 'What we think we are' is known as our self-concept. Thinking errors in each of these areas are addressed at Aspiro, and I believe this is one of our many keys to success.

When a student lacks ambition, or ignores moral impulses they have, there can be a lot of shame and sadness associated with it. One can begin to look pretty cold, hard, and cruel pretty quickly in this state. Bridges are often burned in the family and and it is hard even to have the motivation to like each other or continue trying.

Yet, the environment can become so surreal, so magical, so difficult sometimes at Aspiro, that all the rules change. Things that seemed distasteful before now seem desirable. Relationships that seemed lost begin to feel missed. We journal, we talk, we have community, and we share great epic adventures together until suddenly we find ourselves wanting to be better than we ever have before. Where before we felt no desire to overcome, to be better, to do whatever it takes to love, accomplish, and to grow, suddenly we begin to Aspire.

This is what it means to experience Aspiro.

When a student lacks confidence, there is a deep sadness and feelings of failure associated with it.

Sometimes it feels like one can never be good enough. Often because of learning disabilities, difficult family situations, loss, or negative peer groups, a student comes to us feeling as if they have never succeeded at anything. Sometimes they feel as if they never can succeed, that they are born destined to be unhappy and destined to feel distant and left out of their families and communities. It is difficult to feel this way for long at Aspiro. The community is supportive and goes to great lengths to notice and reward every success. We are confronted with challenges such as rock climbing, river rafting, skiing, and rappelling that change us in deep and powerful ways. Once we have completed that one difficult climb, that one scary rappel, that one roaring rapid, it is hard to ignore the feeling of power and success that comes as a result of that. It is hard to continue believing that we are destined to be unhappy or destined to be unsuccessful. Where before we had no confidence, no belief that we could accomplish great things, suddenly we begin to aspire. This is what it means to experience Aspiro.

When a student sees themselves different than they truly are, when they make choices that reflect a lack of understanding of the world around them, or lack of empathy, there can be enormous frustration associated with it. It can feel like they are trying very hard but going nowhere. Many of the tactics they try do not turn out as they expect. Sometimes a student will perceive themselves as less valuable, less loved, less important than they truly are. Other times they will see themselves as the center of attention, as the only one of value in the room, the only one worthy of notice. At Aspiro we have a culture of unconditional love that trickles from staff to students and their peers. But this unconditional love does not mean unconditional attention.

Our students learn to understand that we love them deeply regardless of their past and are only interested in their success and growth. However, they are not the center of the universe and others have needs as relevant, real, and pressing as their own. When we can feel unconditionally loved, but redirected to focus on serving others around us, it is my belief that we are freed then to act in love and to see ourselves as we really are. Where before we had a misdirected sense of how to get the attention we need, or an underestimated sense of value about ourselves, we begin to grow a new respect for our power, our influence, and our ability to sacrifice for others. We learn that we are capable of so much more, capable of changing the world, capable of growing our families and communities. We learn to aspire. This is the Aspiro experience.

Awesome Quote

By: Brian Church, V.P. Business Development

A very good friend of mine passed this quote along a couple of weeks ago. I love it because it is so descriptive of what students and employees experience at all of the Aspiro programs. This quote is a perfect precursor to our next blog entry by Dan LeMaire which will be posted later today or tomorrow. I thought I would share it with all for your enjoyment:

"Everest is a pressure cooker that forces us into rigorous self-examination. Part of Everest's magic rests in the painful reality we find inside us. Everest exposes things about ourselves we often successfully hide at more reasonable altitudes."

"The larger question is ultimately, will we hide from our new self-knowledge, or will we change and grow from it? Most searingly difficult experiences are like this. They are characterized by pain and loss, achievement and gain. The only guarantee of failure comes from our refusal to grow from our new self knowledge."

--Alan Hobsen

A Shifting Paradigm

By: Josh Watson, LMSW

“Change” seems to be the nation’s mantra as we welcome a new year with open arms. We are a nation that is constantly evolving based on several factors associated with things like technology, environment, family dynamics, disease, political decisions, and economic conditions. These are obviously just a few examples of issues that trigger change and require adaptation on more of a global scale. However, as a therapist in the private treatment sector I must not ignore best practice methods that are consistently changing to meet the needs of struggling teens and families.

More specifically, I am a therapist by trade, but I am also a minority owner and Director of Admissions for the Aspiro Group of Programs. Aspiro is a very innovative and clinically sophisticated, outdoor program that provides a strong emphasis on adventure therapy to targeted groups of adolescents and young adults. One of the primary reasons we created Aspiro was to address the ongoing needs that are constantly changing for teens and families. These needs are a direct reflection of the issues we deal with on a global scale that I made reference to earlier. One of our mantras at Aspiro has been to “think outside of the box.”

This is not only something our staff does internally, we also teach our students and families to do the same thing. Rigid thinking patterns often create frustration and power struggles, even between individuals that care for each other.

Traditional outdoor treatment programs or “wilderness programs” have been around for many years.

Focusing on primitive living skills, behavioral modification, and self-reflection, these programs have been successful in changing the individual behavior of adolescents. However, at Aspiro, we do not believe that is good enough to address the issues we face in today’s society. When Aspiro was created over three years ago it was determined that new treatment modalities needed to be implemented to not only address the individual student behavior, but also the behavior of the entire family system. In essence, a paradigm shift was created in the private sector of outdoor treatment programs. Yes, I understand that families have had some interaction, primarily after eight or twelve weeks of separation from their child, in traditional outdoor programs, however, we feel it is important to consistently involve the family throughout the entire process.

At Aspiro, we also understand the value of family separation for a period of time. However, family reunification and/or relationship cohesion is the ultimate goal whenever possible. By ignoring the family system throughout the outdoor treatment process we are actually doing harm to the child. Research on family development shows that changes in family life-cycle patterns have escalated dramatically over the last decade. According to two family system’s experts, Betty Carter and Monica McGoldrick, we can attribute this family developmental change to factors such as lower birth rate, longer life expectancy, the changing role of women, very high divorce and remarriage rates, the rise of unmarried motherhood, unmarried couples, single-parent adoptions, the increased visibility of gay and lesbian couples and families, and the increase in two paycheck marriages to the point where they are the American norm. We must not ignore these changes that are occurring in families all over the country and we must address them accordingly.

This paradigm shift to increase family involvement throughout the outdoor treatment process was not met without some criticism. However, all changing paradigms are confronted with questions and concern…as they should be. The most repetitive concern that was expressed on multiple occasions was that “students will manipulate their parents into withdrawing them early from the program.”

Aspiro has served over 500 families in three years. Out of those families, only one has withdrawn their child due to manipulation prior to treatment termination. Based on ongoing success and positive feedback from families and relevant professionals, treating the whole family is necessary in today’s society. The paradigm shift has been increasingly embraced by other private programs in the outdoor treatment sector.

However many programs and treating professionals still base their approach to struggling teens on old mythological patterns of the traditional family system. Carter and McGoldrick go on to say that it is absolutely imperative that therapists and treating professionals at least recognize the extent of change and variations in the norm that are now widespread and that we help families to stop comparing their structure and life-cycle course with that of the family of the 1950’s.

While relationship patterns and family themes may continue to sound familiar, the structure, ages, stages, and culture of the American family have changed radically. It is time for us professionals to give up our attachments to the old ideals and to put a more positive, conceptual frame around what has become evident in today’s society.

Inviting Openness

By: Mike Escalante, Program Director

I started working for a wilderness therapy program in 2003. When I began, I think only the “wilderness” part of wilderness therapy had caught my attention. I instantly fell in love with the job as it entailed hanging out with a bunch of guys in a beautiful Arizona mountain landscape. As time went on, I worked for other programs and became more and more aware of the “therapy” side. I became introduced to a variety of therapeutic theories and intervention modalities focused on facilitating change. Some of these theories interested me and others felt hokey or even oppressive.

By the time I worked for my third program, I honestly felt flooded in a sea of information and theories about “change” that oftentimes seemed to miss the mark. One theory seemed to contradict another while others seemed to be a lexical reorganization of yet other theories. After years of working with youth and implementing a whole gamut of interventions, I discovered a fundamental and necessary component of “change”. Stated simply, I learned that seeds of growth can only take root in a person when he is open to the idea of growth. I realized that each student I work with had to come to a place in their heart and mind where they were at peace with a successful outcome. When students found this open place, seeds of change could be planted and cultivated.

After making my long overdue discovery, a few things became apparent. When at war emotionally with others, we excuse ourselves from our negative behaviors. Therefore, accusing is almost always accompanied with excusing. In other words, if a student is focused on how she has been wronged by her parents and program staff than she will naturally accuse others of warped perception and excuse her actions in the interplay. Terry Warner eloquently explains this paradigm in his masterpiece The Bonds That Make us Free.

These realizations fostered a significant change in the way I viewed my role. As a caregiver, mentor or guide, my greatest challenge and responsibility was to invite my students to an open place. Openness, I have found, is the only foundation that supports the weight of lasting change. Of course my realization was not accompanied by a universal equation for eliciting openness. Rather, my realization has helped me develop a new focus and realize that my invitation must come from a place of personal openness and peace.

Fortunately, I found Aspiro, or Aspiro found me.

Aspiro is an organization that actively seeks to instill a sense of openness in its employees and students.

Furthermore, Aspiro explicitly invites openness with our students’ families during our family workshop.

It has been awesome to see parents and children drop their accusing and excusing emotions and hence regain the ability to see themselves and others clearly.

Now, as the program director for Aspiro, I get to work closely with guides and clinicians in training and program development. I am constantly astounded at the simple ways our field guides and clinical staff touch the lives of the students we work with.Throughout the years I have studied many therapeutic theories that have appropriate application to our work, yet none of them have the power to foster change if the person most in need of change is at war with the idea. My invitation to all of my employees, as well as to anyone who works in our important industry, is to free ourselves as much as we can from accusing and excusing emotions so that we can invite the same in our students.

Why We Still Work for Aspiro...

By Jodi Escalante, Assistant Program Director

I never would have guessed that my husband, Michael and I would still be working at Aspiro. When we first heard about Aspiro, we had only been married about 6 months. We were both attending college and thought this would be a fun summer job, where we would get to work together. We had both worked in traditional wilderness programs before, but never together.

And just to sound cliché, we started an adventure that we’ve yet to end.

That first summer was truly amazing: canoeing on beautiful Lake Powell, exploring the majestic slot canyons of Central and Southern Utah, exploring caves and rappelling, rock climbing all across the state, and hiking through the most beautiful areas that I never knew existed.

In the fall, we returned to school to finish our undergraduate studies, but every weekend we traveled out to our groups and trained the newer guides.

When Michael and I graduated (April 2007), we returned to Aspiro full time because we were hooked.

As noted earlier, we had both worked for primitive model wilderness programs. However, after working at Aspiro neither of us could imagine working at a wilderness program without the ADVENTURE. We pushed our students harder, faster, and farther than either of us had previously experienced.

Since that first summer at Aspiro I have embarked on so many beautiful and amazing adventures and have built some unforgettable relationships with students.

I guess that’s my other favorite thing about Aspiro we emphasize stronger relationships than the norm.

Given the high impact adventures, we have an amazing opportunity to help someone through a physically or emotionally challenging experience, to push them beyond their comfort zone to higher ground. And when the dust settles and the high fives and hugs are done, and they’ve overcome their seemingly impassible struggles, we learn from the metaphors; teacher and student alike.